Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in live_free_ordie's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
11:18 am	I changed my oil today While the title of this update seems irrelevant to you, not everything is about you! I put it there so that the next time I'm trying to remember when I last changed my oil, I'll be able to check this and get an exact date. In other Volvo related news, I have finally accepted that the lovely black corduroy Volvo hat that my sister got me at a thrift store is officially missing and not likely to turn up. I have ordered a new hat due to my occasional need to protect my head from the sun. This one features a drawing of a Volvo 240 (like mine) instead. You can see it here if you are so inclined: http://hats.cafepress.com/item/black-cap/261485437 Oddly enough, it does not come with a stick to use to beat off the throngs of women that I can only assume that it will attract. Luckily, I already keep one in Dr. Velvet's trunk. After all, seeing someone driving in a car while wearing a hat bearing the image of that car may be too much for some to handle. July 17-19, 2009: I will be at my brother's bachelor party float trip. I'm not sure when I'll be arriving in Belleville, but I'll probably drive down Friday and go directly to the float trip. It's in rural Missouri somewhere. We should be back Sunday afternoon and I'll probably drive back to Michigan on Monday (I have to teach on Tuesdays and Thursdays in July and part of August). Hopefully I'll have time to hang out Sunday afternoon/ night with Collinsville people (assuming they are available). I just realized that I don't have any friends left who live in Belleville. Odd. Next I'm going to present a brief advertisement for coming to visit me in Michigan: We have lovely Lake Lansing nearby with a beach for swimming and boating. We have our own little Zoo here in Lansing where you can ride a real live camel. We have art galleries, a number of fine restaurants, a couple of music venues, and an arcade with over a dozen pinball machines. We also have a great tavern with a giant wooden griffin perched above it with a big glass picture of a wizard. According to local legend, Robert Plant once almost purchased it before he realized it wouldn't fit in his basement. But that's just Lansing. Detroit has a surprisingly good art museum that shows art house films on the weekends. It has a number of little hole in the wall kinds of art galleries. There is always Canada a mere hour and a half away from me if you like Canada and your passport is updated. And there is what I believe to be the crown jewel of Detroit: The John King Bookstore. It is a used bookstore that inhabits an old glove factory. It is three floors of used books that are meticulously organized and reasonably priced. And we bought a queen sized air mattress not to long ago so you can sleep in comfort and style. And there is an Amtrak stop five minutes from my house. Remember, I'm only going to live here for another year and you don't want your opportunity to see all the majesty and wonder that is Michigan to slip away. Quick update on what I've been doing: I saw the Decemberists in St. Louis (fantastic show, Shara Worden was amazing), saw Narc Out the Reds here in Lansing (great local band fronted by one of Jill's coworkers), tasted throwback Pepsi (better than regular Pepsi), visited a friend's lake house where Jill and I went swimming, boating, drinking, and fireworks shooting (a fun weekend was had by all), and I'm officially done with taking classes. All that stands between me and "Dr. Chris" is a dissertation. If all goes to plan I'll graduate in May and start work as a professor somewhere (hopefully in Illinois) in August. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, April 27th, 2009
10:24 pm	I met Shara Worden's bees So there's this musical act called My Brightest Diamond. It's the project of a very talented singer/ songwriter/ multi-instrumentalist named Shara Worden. It's also really good as you can hear from www.mybrightestdiamond.com and of course myspace as well. I saw them perform for the first time when they opened for the Decemberists a couple of years ago. We saw them in St. Louis and then in Champaign. Before the Champaign show, we ran into Shara during the day and talked to her for awhile. Jill and I have seen them (Shara and a variety of backing people) twice since then when they have played in Grand Rapids, MI. Every time, we've chatted with her after the shows. So, Jill found out that she was playing a benefit for an art gallery in Detroit and naturally we went. The doors were at 7 and we got there at about 6:30. When I wrote a moment ago that it was at an art gallery in Detroit, I meant in the part of Detroit you hear about when people shake their heads and bemoan the collapse of the inner city. The neighborhood was definitely of the East St. Louis school of deterioration and urban decay. The gallery is called The Yes Farm and it is located in a building that definitely needs some love and care if it is going to continue standing. They have a blog here: http://www.theyesfarm.blogspot.com/ where you can see pictures of them fixing this place up. The benefit was so they could afford to wire it for electricity. It is currently being electrified by a series of extension cords running around the building and connected to a thick wire running to a nearby house (insert baby animal suckling from a teet metaphor). There are a bunch of artists and such living on this street in the heart of the ghetto and they have a little garden across the street. Anyways, we arrive and Shara was doing a sound check in the front room of The Yes Farm. She immediately recognized us and after the sound check she came over and gave us hugs and chatted for a bit. Apparently, she has just moved back to Michigan from New York City and into this neighborhood with her husband. She walked us over to where her house was because she wanted us to see her new beehive. She has one of those drawer type things with tons of bees buzzing around. Several of her neighbors also have bees. It seems all the cool kids in decaying neighborhoods in Detroit have bees. Anyways, she put on a great show all by herself. There was a mixture of neighborhood people with their kids and artist hippy-types. Everyone seemed to have a good time. I'm hoping that once Shara has some new songs and such this will lead to seeing more My Brightest Diamond shows in Detroit! Take that Portland! I was often told by Lansing folks that there was nothing happening in Detroit, but it seems like there's lots of things happening. Little galleries and theatre companies are popping up and whatnot. I'm actually excited about living near Detroit now. A woman read a delightful essay by Tennessee Williams called "Something Wild" about this sort of thing before the event began and I really liked it. It touched on the sorts of reasons why I like places like the The Yes Farm. I couldn't find it for free on the internet, but if you can find it, read it. It's collected in a book called "Where I Live" with some of his other essays. Current Mood: happy Current Music: good stuff Jill's playing (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 20th, 2009
10:20 am	Irregular Jill got me a solar-powered windmill for Christmas. It looks just like the ones you see out in the windswept prairie that generate electricity. Only this one is using a small solar cell to actually generate electricity to run a small motor that turns the blades. It stands about a foot tall. It's amusing to watch something mechanical operating without any electricity from a wire or a battery. It's also extra amusing because it is designed to resemble a machine that generates electricity from the wind and yet it is actually consuming electricity from the sun. If all life suddenly died off tomorrow it would keep spinning every morning that the sun came up. My sister purchased a copy of Watchmen for me for Christmas. It's one of those things that people talk up a lot and say really impressive things about. You think to yourself, "it can't be that good." Then you read it and, for the most part, it lives up to its hype. It's not just about how society might reject superheros or about the impact they would have on the real world if they existed. There is so much more than that going on. I feel that any effort I might make to say more would ruin things for those of you who haven't read it. I will say that certain plot developments remind me a great deal of Kurt Vonnegut's "Sirens of Titan." Though it may be because I recently read that too and it is still fresh in my mind. In case you were wondering, "Sirens of Titan" is also a really good read. Ironically enough, I purchased my sister a copy of it for Christmas. I've also read half of a book about how Roald Dahl was living in Washington D.C. during WWII and spying for the British. Jill got me this book for my birthday called "The Irregulars" about this story. I've only read half of it because I accidentally left it at my parents house. I'll have to wait until April when I come down for a conference to retrieve it. A few quick highlights: he lost hundreds of dollars to Harry Truman in a poker game. He turned down his best friend's wife's demands for sex. The rebuffed lady in question struck up an affair with a young Texan congressman named Lyndon Johnson. Dahl did sleep with the Standard Oil heiress and a congresswoman. He also spent weeks at the Roosevelt's summer retreat. His mission was to keep America in the war and then to help secure British interests after the war. In more recent news, Obama is going to become the President of the United States in a bit over an hour. Luckily, I don't have anywhere to be around noon so I'm going to watch. I think I've managed to believe that he is going to be the president. What's odd and a bit paradoxical is that I'm not sure if I've accepted that President Bush isn't going to be the president anymore. It's been such a long and terrible eight years that it is hard to believe that it is finally over. There's been a lot of talk lately about him being the worst president ever. It would be easy to dismiss that talk as liberal triumphalism. It would be easy to be dismissive if one could come up with anything really positive President Bush has done to balance against the harm he's done. The best I could come up with is that there hasn't been another 9/11. But it's hard to hang one's hat on the absence of something. I honestly can't think of anything else. I refer interested readers to practically every editorial page in the world for a list of the harm he's caused. Anyways, in me related news, my schedule is looser this term. I have a mountain of stuff to do, but less scheduled appointments. I'm only taking one class which meets Thursday nights. I'm T.A.ing a class that meets twice a week and my duties are minimal. I am doing a bit of traveling though. In mid February, I'm going to a conference in Phoenix, AZ. During the first weekend in April I'm coming to St. Louis for another conference. I'm planning on presenting my paper and ditching the rest of the conference to hang out with St. Louis people. Theoretically, Wier and Katie will have a baby to look at by then. I think that's what you do. You look and maybe poke. Then down to Chicago for a conference May 21-25. Also, my dog, Sally, is dead. I think I've been calling her my parent's dog for the past couple of years to make myself feel better about her impending death. She's been on a steadily increasing diet of insulin for several years now. About a week ago, the insulin stopped working and my parents had her put to sleep. Sad news for those who liked my dog, good news for those who she tried to eat. I like to think that as the drugs the doctor injected started to take their effect, she briefly got to feel a relief from whatever discomfort or pain she was experiencing before she died. (Comment on this)
Monday, December 22nd, 2008
7:44 pm	Travel Updates For those of you who have an interest in me making it back to St. Louis, I have updates. For those of you who have no stake in me making it to St. Louis, you can blissfully ignore this and hope that I have more interesting things to say in the future. The car has been fixed by the expert, Bosch trained mechanics at University Foreign Car. It was a bad fuse hidden in a bad housing in under the hood. The bad fuse was rooted out and punished. Now my car, like this battle station, is "fully armed and operational" However, the weather is not cooperating. We are slated for more snow for the next few days. According to weather reports, the next time it is safe to drive will be Christmas day. So, unless the weather drastically improves, I will not be in Belleville until Christmas. I do plan on staying a week, but that week probably won't start until Christmas itself. I'll keep you updated. Current Mood: optimistic (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 20th, 2008
11:34 am	The Volvo Rides Again I've managed to repair my Volvo. It appears that when I was trying to put back in some paneling under my dashboard, I knocked the wire off that brings electricity to my fuel pump. Having restored the wire to its proper place, the car again roared back to life. Plans appear to be back on! UPDATE: The Volvo got about a mile down the road and died again. I'm going back in... Current Mood: triumphant (2 Comments |Comment on this)
12:52 am	Ambiguity of Travel and 2 Scotches My travel plans have been up in the air for several days now. Right now, my car won't start. I think I know why and I think I can repair it (electrical problem). We'll find out tomorrow. Also, we got a shit-ton of snow. The original plan was that I would drive down to Joliet with Jill and see her mother and brother tomorrow (Saturday). Then, on Sunday, Jill would take a train back to Lansing and I would drive down to Belleville. The large amount of snow and uncertain status of my car has tossed all of this up in the air. We'll know tomorrow. In Scotch related news, I added two new ones. I was at an Irish bar watching one of Jill's coworkers sing in an 80's cover band. Nothing gets Michigan people going like a Journey cover (and I don't think I have to tell you which song). The band was pretty good for what they are. This Irish bar did not have a list of their scotches so I was forced to try and look at the labels from 10 feet away and try to determine what I had not had. So, it was Laphroig first (good as always, a more subtle version of Bowmore and produced right down the road from Bowmore's distillery) and then Johnny Walker red and black, simultaneously. They were pouring me a shot of red and ran out. The bartender offered to pour me a half shot of black if I came back up but that sounded like a hassle. So I told her to mix them together. I'm going to go ahead and count that as two. So the list is up to 19. I've got nine to go by Friday. The Laphroig was surprisingly smooth for an Islay malt. Perhaps it was older than I thought. I'll assume the 12 though given that it wasn't super expensive. Incidentally, Laphroig is my advisor's favorite. 1. Oban 2. Lagavulin 3. Caol Ila 4. Bowmore 5. Glenlivet 6. Chivas Regal 7. Glenmorangie 8. Talisker 9. Ardbeg Airigh Nam Beist 10. Finlaggan Islay 11. Scapa 14 year old 12. Macallan Cask Strength 13. Bunnahabhain 12 year old 14. Benriach 15 year old Pedro Ximenez Sherry 15. Cragganmore 12 year old 16. Glenkinchie 10 year old (I think) 17. Laphroig 12 year old (I think) 18. Johnny Walker Red 19. Johnny Walker Black Current Mood: uncertain (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 14th, 2008
10:09 am	Holiday Plans Okay, Jill and I have sorted out what we are doing for the holidays. Jill, sadly, has to work so she cannot come home with me for the holidays. Here is our schedule: Dec. 20: Drive to Joliet to see Jill's mother/ brother Dec. 21: Jill gets on a train to go back to Lansing. I drive to Belleville. Dec. 27: I leave Belleville. That's all I have so far. Jill's father is coming up for Christmas to see her. I decided that I wasn't going to leave her alone on Christmas so her father volunteered to come up and visit her, freeing me to come down to Belleville. Don't ask about New Years, that's too far into the future for me to figure out yet. Current Mood: good (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 10th, 2008
10:26 pm	Burroughs Live I have 25 papers to grade. This means I am looking for procrastination outlets. Last May, while in Toronto, I found a book of Willaim S. Burroughs interviews called "Burroughs Live." I've been reading it while seated in the bathroom and I recently finished it. I thought I would share a few gems with you all: Well, there's nothing else to do. With the undergraduates I can't have a whole class of discussion- the ideal thing to do- because they just don't have that much to say. -1974 The question arises as to who is really down on homosexual practices and precisely why. We know that a lot has come from the Christian religion. Not from Christ himself- he was probably a faggot- but from St. Paul. -1976 In fact I taught an entire semester, and what I took away from that experience is that nothing in the world would ever make it worth my while to ever teach again. -1978 Look at this. Beautiful eh? My favorite, my Charter Arm 2 Barrel Undercover .38 Special- I'd like to see some dumb fucker with a bag of ice get past that! And look at this- he pulls on a jacket of blue-based tartan in some plastic material- I got it from the Thrift Shop. They're the Salvation Army places. Eight dollars- pretty good eh? I enjoy a bargain. -1982 The history of this planet is the history of war, the only thing that gets a homo sapien up of his dead ass is a foot up! And that foot is war. -1982 And whenever you hear someone saying: "All reasonable people will agree that," "with the consent of informed opinion," you know you're gonna hear some real preposterous nonsense. -1986 All my life I've never considered committing suicide; I'd rather make a list of people to kill than go out and shoot myself. -1987 When someone told Lincoln that Grant had a drinking problem, Lincoln said, "OK, let's distribute that brand of whiskey to the other generals and maybe they'll get the lead out of their britches and do something about winning this war." -1987 I wouldn't say I took great chances in my life- I didn't do any mountain climbing. -1990 I've never seen anything come out of cocaine except nonsense. -1990 ...the average person is so stupid they aren't worth talking about. -1990 We're getting stupider as our weaponry is grows more powerful and that's a deadly combination. -1990 We now know that dreaming is a biologic necessity. I think that's something that artists do- they dream for other people. -1990 I do most of my shooting at targets out at Fred's place. I have a cabin on a lake, but there's a Christian Children's Home right across the lake, and we don't like to kill Christian children unless we absolutely have to. -1990 I've learned from my cats. They reflect you in a very deep way. They just opened up a whole area of compassion in me. I remember lying in bed and weeping and weeping to think that a nuclear catastrophe would destroy them. -1991 Homosexuality and drugs weren't spoken of, and nobody wanted to know that the two chaps who ran the antique shop were, you know, strange, so they just put it out of their minds. -1996 Interviewer: Have you read Mr. Huncke's obituary in The New York Times? Burroughs: I guess that they probably had that ready. [He thinks a moment] They probably have one on me, don't they? They'll have to wait. -1996 I didn't start highlighting the good bits until about half way through. There was plenty of fun from him in the 1960s and 70s too. Some of the people he interviewed with/ was interviewed by include: Tennessee Williams, Patti Smith, Debbie Harry, Devo, David Bowie, and Timothy Leary. It was a fun read. Current Mood: Burroughsy (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 9th, 2008
10:01 pm	A new scotch, 2 Governors, and balls This morning Illinois's much hated governor was arrested. From what I gathered from press reports, he was in bed when he got the knock on his door. He was then allowed to dress himself (one wants to look one's best in one's mug shot for rampant corruption). It is looking like Illinois is going to have a special election instead of letting the governor appoint a replacement for Obama. Who knows? Maybe Alan Keyes will run again and add that certain je ne c'est quoi that has been missing from Illinois politics as of late. In other governor news, Jill and I decided to try a restaurant on the advice of one of her co-workers. After we had been seated for a few minutes, the governor of Michigan, Jennifer Granholm, walked in and ate dinner with five or so people. I asked my server, "Is that the governor?" and she confirmed that it was and later told me that the governor was really nice. I suppose this sort of thing is inevitable when one lives in the capital of the state. While at dinner, I had the opportunity to try a new Scotch. It was called Glenkinchie. It is one of the three remaining lowland malt scotches and is produced near Edinburgh. It was somewhat light with an agreeable flavor. Nothing too exciting. But it is the first time in forever that I've been able to add to the list: 1. Oban 2. Lagavulin 3. Caol Ila 4. Bowmore 5. Glenlivet 6. Chivas Regal 7. Glenmorangie 8. Talisker 9. Ardbeg Airigh Nam Beist 10. Finlaggan Islay 11. Scapa 14 year old 12. Macallan Cask Strength 13. Bunnahabhain 12 year old 14. Benriach 15 year old Pedro Ximenez Sherry 15. Cragganmore 12 year old 16. Glenkinchie 10 year old (I think) And finally, two nights ago, I saw a pair of balls. Jill and I were at a bar/ small venue in Old Town Lansing. There were to be four local bands playing that night. I believe we arrived during band #2. One of Jill's coworkers is fronting a band that played last. They are called "Narc Out the Reds" and are, in general, good and fun to listen to. They don't really have a stand out song though. But the more important point is the balls. During the set of I think band #3 there was a gentleman dancing somewhat wildly and holding a drink. The bartender asked him to leave and the gentleman grew irate. The bouncer ultimately intervened and managed to get Drunky out the side door entrance and into the parking lot. Drunky still did not want to leave and he kept yelling at the bouncer and challenging him to fight. Given that the bouncer was a very large man named T. J. and that Drunky was a much smaller man, the situation had the appearance of a man shouting at a brick wall and calling it a pussy for not fighting him. After awhile, Drunky went round to the front door (which was locked, but made of glass). So Drunky stood there for a few minutes angrily staring into the bar. Then he turned around, dropped his pants, and spread his legs. This is when Jill and I saw his ass and balls. I know at some point the police were summoned, but Lansing's finest don't exactly have a good response time. So given that we had a good view of his back, I assume that passing cars had a good view of his front. This went on for awhile and presumably he grew cold (it was probably around 20 degrees out). He then came back around to the side door to continue to antagonize T. J. the bouncer. At some point T. J. and several others ended up in the parking lot with this fellow. I didn't see it happen but Drunky took a swing at T. J. and broke part of T. J.'s glasses. T. J. was then choking Drunky. Luckily for drunky's neck and T. J.'s desire to stay out of jail, Jill's coworker convinced T. J. to let Drunky live. Drunky then took off down an alley. Finally, a police officer appeared and chased Drunky down the alley. And that was why I saw another man's balls. Current Mood: good (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, November 14th, 2008
10:36 pm	Not coming home for Thanksgiving I have just a quick and short update that mostly concerns Belleville people. I have decided that I have too much to do here before the end of the term and therefore I am not coming home Thanksgiving. I was planning on coming home, but I looked at my workload and decided it wasn't feasible. I am definitely planning on spending a week in Belleville around Christmas though, so I'll see you all then. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 18th, 2008
10:31 am	A trip to the river Spey I have a short update for once. First, as I cross-post all my entries both on myspace and livejournal, I choose the same mood for both. However, when one selects "nostalgic" on livejournal, the smiley face guy is smiling. One myspace, he is frowning. I think the livejournal is a more accurate description of nostalgia and for those of your who read that entry to myspace, I'm afraid you were misled if you looked at the sad smiley face. Also new Scotch! For her birthday, Jill and I went to a nice Steakhouse called "The Knight Cap" where we had some very good steak and I got to try a new Scotch called Cragganmore that was aged 12 years. It was rather good. It was fairly light and yet had a nice peatyness that surprised me given that it is from near the river Spey rather than from the wonderful Isle of Islay. So, I'm making slow progress toward my goal of 27 Scotches before I turn 27. We'll see. 1. Oban 2. Lagavulin 3. Caol Ila 4. Bowmore 5. Glenlivet 6. Chivas Regal 7. Glenmorangie 8. Talisker 9. Ardbeg Airigh Nam Beist 10. Finlaggan Islay 11. Scapa 14 year old 12. Macallan Cask Strength 13. Bunnahabhain 12 year old 14. Benriach 15 year old Pedro Ximenez Sherry 15. Cragganmore 12 year old Also, we saw Burn After Reading. It was enjoyable but a bit darker than the advertisements would have us believe. I think my favorite scenes were the ones with J.K. Simmons. Current Mood: good (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 11th, 2008
11:32 pm	High Fidelity and Chicago So I was watching High Fidelity a little while ago. In fact it is still on some channel that Comcast, in their infinite wisdom, decided should come with digital cable. I just had a very good vodka martini made with Grey Goose and I have a light buzz. I know, one martini and a light buzz. Such a lightweight I'm becoming. I made it cold enough so that the small amount of water that was shed by the shaking ice crystallized in a thin layer on the surface of the drink. And it was damn good. But I digress. I was thinking about why I really like High Fidelity. It's by no means what I would consider a great movie. It has no chance of cracking my top five. But I get a sort of warm fuzzy from watching it. I think that it is a combination of several factors. First and foremost, it is set in Chicago. I've always had a great affection for Chicago. It was always a sort of shining city on the hill that I'd visited a few times in my childhood on family vacations. There were several times when I was in High School where Matt Loewe and I had plotted to drive up to Chicago in the morning, get lunch, buy a me new Blackhawks hat, maybe see the Sears Tower, and drive back home that night. Oh, the heady days of cheap gas. Sadly we never made our one day journey. Consequentially, when I was thinking about college, the only two schools I applied to were either in Chicago (Loyola) or near it (North Central College) much to the chagrin of my Belleville friends who lamented my moving so far away. I saw High Fidelity my senior year of high school. As I recall, it was me, my then girlfriend Jackie and several of my friends. Hell, it may have even been the night when Wier ate part of Kay Newby's small stuffed bear. That sure came back to bite me in the ass. A few short months later I moved near to Chicago and immediately began taking every opportunity I had to visit the city. I think Averbeck and I went to Chicago for the first time not a week after we'd arrived in Naperville to go to North Central College. We went and saw a 3-D pornographic film at a midnight showing at the Music Box called "Hard Candy." Let me tell you, when a man cums at the camera in 3-D the whole audience throws up their hands in terror. Whatever interest I may have had in cumming on a woman's face was exorcised that night I can assure you. I think it's fitting that the first place I went to in Chicago was portrayed in the film. Then I ended up hanging out in Wicker Park a lot to see various short films and other happenings at the little art galleries in the area whenever I could over the next 6 years until I moved away. Wicker Park, of course is where Championship Vinyl was in the film. So as I said, you could have put damn near any film in Chicago and have it so intimately connected to various Chicago locations and I would be on board. But is isn't just the locations. It's also that 20-something, living in a city, working in a record store, going to lots of local shows kind of lifestyle that I've always envied. There's always been a part of me that wishes I had spent my 20s like that. It's the contemporary incarnation of the bohemian lifestyle that I think I'll always be somewhat drawn too. So watching this movie I get to live that life vicariously for a couple of hours. There's also the little things in the movie that add up. Arguing about music. The way that dark-haired girl from Roseanne who talked to the bald clerk in the store reminds me of Denise. The guys listening to the new Belle and Sebastian. That scene where they beat Tim Robbins head in with a telephone. The deviation from the typical romantic comedy script that shows how complicated relationships really are. The discussion John Cusack has about how other women are tempting because relationships with them are idealized and without problems. When I saw it that night in the theatre with my friends and my then girlfriend in Belleville, I think it was everything I was looking for in Chicago. When I lived near it, it was everything I was getting to know. And now it's everything I miss. Current Mood: nostalgic (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 28th, 2008
12:40 am	7 new scotches bitches Jill and I just got back from our whirlwind tour of Illinois last night. I'll break it down for my adoring fans: Friday: Went to Bloomington and saw a new baby that had popped out of one of Jill's friends' vagina. It was in the bathroom of said baby's parents that I learned that special creams had been devised to sooth nipples that had been chaffed from nursing. There was also a friendly dog whose name escapes me. Saturday: I watched Aaron Loewe get married in a town that put the rural back in rural IL. His brother gave a rather good best man speech and passed up the opportunity to exact his revenge after the puppet show incident from last year (see my blog entry from last April about Matt Loewe's wedding). One of my brother's drunken friends danced with both my mother and then my special lady. He did not appear to be basing his movements during said dancing on the same music the rest of us heard. Instead he seemed to be attempting some sort of free-form experimental dance that involved either shaking his ass or waving his arms. Of course, we all did the Chicken Dance together. Also, I found a large supply of Grape Berry Splash Kool-Aid at the local general store. I bought up their entire supply. Sunday: We stopped by Illinois College where Jill obtained her first degree in English. It was pleasant and had many shady trees. We then spent the remainder of the day with Jill's father and her brother in Springfield. We played darts, we laughed, and Jill and I got to meet her brother's 49 year old girlfriend. He is 29. She is 49. Yes, that is as funny as it sounds. But if you meet her, you'd see that she could easily pass for 39. I assume it's all curtains blowing in the wind down there. Monday: Our triumphant arrival in Belleville was heralded by a 100 degree day. We went and met up with Bridget and met another cat in Bridget's friend's house. We had a drink at The Cheshire down the block where I had Scotch number 8 1. Oban 2. Lagavulin 3. Caol Ila 4. Bowmore 5. Glenlivet 6. Chivas Regal 7. Glenmorangie 8. Talisker It was smooth, nothing to write home about. We then saw the new Batman film which was spectacular. If you haven't seen it yet, you must hate yourself to be denying yourself such an experience. Bridget managed to find a way to dislike it and I no longer trust her opinion about movies now. Her younger sister Cassie is off in Iraq with the Army. I wish her luck. Tuesday: Six Flags!!! Jill, my sister, and I ventured out to Eureka, MO to visit the Happiest Place in Missouri. The new rollercoasters were delightful though I had forgotten how punishing The Boss can be. We even hit the waterpark and saw any number of people who should not only be avoiding swimsuits but should probably convert to Islam so that they might have an excuse to wear a burqa. The Papa John's there only serves deep-dish for some reason. Afterwards, Ted Drews famous frozen custard. Tasty tasty tasty. Wednesday: We went on the A-B brewery tour. There were big horses and lots and lots of beer being produced from the finest ingredients and care to craftsmanship that has made Budweiser an international sensation. Two words: Beechwood Aging. They already have Stella-Artois on tap in the tasting room at the end, the whores. We hung out with my family at the Missouri Botanical Garden that night and saw a fox. Then it was up to the Schlafly's Tap Room in St. Louis for a variety of locally brewed beers and a two hour argument about the relative merits of Chicago versus St. Louis. Do you know what we learned? Fuck New York, that's what. Thursday: We ate some Pizza Hut with Wier and his mutantly tall younger brother and his newly pregnant wife. We went to Slacker's CD's and Games where Wier purchased a gift for James and then he went home to take a nap like the big sissy that he is. So, we celebrated James's Birthday with a few drinks and a classic episode of "Have Gun, Will Travel." Friday: Jill and I saw where my beloved William S. Burroughs is buried in St. Louis. In retrospect I probably should have poured out a bottle of whiskey or something. Maybe next time. Then, that night, James and Matt took us to a wonderful, wonderful, place with a truly staggering number of Scotches on the menu called Scottish Arms. I'm truly on my way to 27 Scotches before 27 years now: 1. Oban 2. Lagavulin 3. Caol Ila 4. Bowmore 5. Glenlivet 6. Chivas Regal 7. Glenmorangie 8. Talisker 9. Ardbeg Airigh Nam Beist 10. Finlaggan Islay 11. Scapa 14 year old 12. Macallan Cask Strength 13. Bunnahabhain 12 year old 14. Benriach 15 year old Pedro Ximenez Sherry Half of these were just sipps from James's glass, but I've decided to count them anyways. I was particularly happy with the Ardbeg whose description promised a "whollop of peat" and the Finlaggan Islay. Afterwards we partook in late night, all you can eat pizza buffet at Maurizios. More information can be found at: www.maurizios.com Saturday: With a tear, we left the gentle embrace of the sweaty St. Louis bosom. Lunch was at Jill's Father's place in Springfield. He made homemade Italian Beef. Dinner was in Dekalb with one of Jill's friends from her M.A. who had also recently produced a new baby. Jill's female friends seem to have a penchant for popping those out recently. After dinner, we happened into a local thrift show where I found: ATARI GAMES!!! What a delightful way to wrap up our journey! I picked up 6 new titles including a game for toddlers called Big Bird's Egg Drop and a game called Sneak'n Peek. While I realize that this is getting long, I need to start a new paragraph for Sneak'n Peek. It brings new heights to the age old art of playing a legitimate sport with a controller while sitting on your ass instead of just finding friends and playing it in real life. It is in fact, a Hide 'N Go Seek video game. You can play with a friend or challenge the computer with four rooms to hide in. This thing has got to be seen to be believed. Sadly, we were travel weary and did not stop in Chicago. I only hope some of my Chicago friends might come up in August before my semester starts and things get crazy again. We have a zoo and everything! Current Mood: travel weary (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 15th, 2008
9:57 am	Not as many Marys in Maryland as you would think I have officially been to Maryland and back. I went there for a short two day conference on exciting new methods and measures of social cognition (otherwise known as thinking about people). It was a good conference. I got a shot glass with a picture of an angry turtle on it because the conference was at the University of Maryland and for those of you in the know, their mascot is an angry turtle that they call a terapin. While at the hotel bar, I had a new Scotch: 1. Oban 2. Lagavulin 3. Caol Ila 4. Bowmore 5. Glenlivet 6. Chivas Regal 7. Glenmorangie I think it was a ten year bottling. The bar also had a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue. The bartender informed me that I could sample it for $30 a shot. I declined and went with the Glenmorangie. Said Glen is a highland singlemalt and not a particularly exciting one. It actually had a fairly strong aroma though. One of my colleagues (Allison Shaw) was sitting next to me and she commented on its strong smell. While I'm happy to be back on singlemalts, ideally I'd be in Islay singlemalts. While in Chicago recently for traffic school, I stopped by Binny's and got a bottle of Bowmore Cask Strength. For those of you who care and don't know already (a vanishingly small minority of those still reading I'm sure) Scotch is usually watered down to 40% but it comes out of the big wooden cask where it was aged at around 56% or so. This bottling of Bowmore was not watered down and thus produces quite a peaty kick. I've seen Wall-E and Wanted. I thought Wall-E was fantastic. It was like an animated 2001. I honestly think it explored similar themes. And it was utterly delightful. Wanted was entertaining at best. I thought the action shots and special effects were good and amusing. However, the film failed to adequately solve a key plot problem that I was worried about after seeing the trailer. When you set up a film to employ purely utilitarian ethics ("kill one to save a thousand") you have to have a compelling way to see the future. All they had was (spoiler) bumps in a big piece of cloth. They didn't even have the lame excuse that God or somebody came and told somebody to interpret the cloth this way. They just decided to do it and assumed that the cloth wanted these people dead. Perhaps the graphic novel source material did a better job. I know it's "just an action movie." However, the this action movie seemed to be trying to take it self seriously and when you do that, I evaluate you based on that effort. Shoot Em Up was not taking it self seriously so I just laughed and enjoyed myself. Had Wanted taken a few steps down off of their pontificating high horse, I may have liked it more. Current Mood: good (Comment on this)
Monday, July 7th, 2008
11:34 pm	Yes, you can deep fry creamed corn I wrapped up teaching for the summer recently. The lovely thing about MSU is that, for most classes, there are two summer sessions the first and the second. The first ended at the end of June and thus, I am not going to be standing in front of students until the end of August. I had a couple of students beg me to let them turn things in late, weeks late. One of them even came to my office hours (the only visit from any student to my office hours this term) to beg in person. I turned them down with the cold steadfastness of a Roman emperor giving the thumbs down to a gladiator. I didn't end up flunking anyone, these were students wanting to go from a C+ to a B- and such. I recently visited the upper peninsula of Michigan (the UP) with Jill and some of the people in my department. We were renting a cottage from one of the secretaries who has one up there near a lake. I saw some waterfalls, ate a pasty (odd UP meat and potato pie), and encountered more mosquitoes than I ever have in my entire life. Mind you, I lived at a Cub Scout camp for two summers in a row out in the woods and I thought I had learned to deal with mosquitoes. Not like this. Dozens of them swarming around and attacking relentlessly in the middle of the day. Terrible, terrible, terrible. And I got to go canoeing which was delightful. Tonight Jill and I visited a bar on the far east side of town on lovely Lake Lansing. It was a townie bar but I managed to find another Scotch to "try." 1. Oban 2. Lagavulin 3. Caol Ila 4. Bowmore 5. Glenlivet 6. Chivas Regal Yes, I've stooped to adding blended Scotches but I realized that I was going to have to start hanging out in far classier bars if I wanted to keep this to only single malts. Also, I've tried Chivas before. In fact, Chivas was the first Scotch I'd ever tried when I was a mere 20 years old and Kraft and I were hanging out at Wayne's old Pennsylvania Avenue house and we found and killed what remained of a bottle of it one summer night when we were bored. Indeed it remains one of the best blends I've encountered. Slightly sweet, not bad. The bar actually had a bottle of Lagavulin too. Upon learning of this, I must have looked a bit surprised because the bar tender immediately explained that they had it for one regular customer who is now living in a nursing home or some such. The bar also had deepfried, breaded creamed corn. Fucking delicious, especially dipped in honey. Oh, and I went to Chicago to learn to be a better driver. To prevent my insurance agency learning that I got a speeding ticket (fucking Skyway with their BS 45 mph limit) I had to take this class and give the state some more money. I spent 7 hours or so in a classroom with about 20 or so people in what was essentially really condensed drivers ed. However, the instructor was amusing and sounded a lot like Mandy Patinkin when he was on Criminal Minds. And I am very much looking forward to Belleville in a couple of weeks! Current Mood: good (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 25th, 2008
4:04 pm	Weekend in Chicago and ultimately week in So-IL My plans in Chicago this weekend: Jill and I are going to come down Friday night and stay with her mother in Joliet Friday night. I'm going to get up early and go to my traffic safety school where I can learn to be a better driver. Saturday night however, depends on my Chicagoland friends. If any of you all are free, we can hang out. As it stands, Jill and I have no where to stay Saturday night (we don't want to spend any more time with her mother than we have to). So, if you have a place for us to stay and want to hang out Saturday night, let me know. If not, we'll probably head back up North and I'll grade papers. If you don't have a place for us to stay, but want to get dinner with us before we drive back Saturday night, that would be cool too. My Belleville Plans in late July: Friday July 18th, Jill and I are going to drive to Bloomington to visit some of her friends. The next morning we are driving to Quincy, IL to see Aaron Loewe married on Saturday. We're staying in Quincy Saturday night and then driving to Belleville Sunday morning. We're going to then stay in Belleville until Friday, July 25th. That Friday we are going to drive north. If anyone in Chicagoland wants to hang out that Friday night or Saturday night and has a place for us to crash, we'll have good Chicago times. If not, we're back up to Lansing, MI. Things I want to do in the St. Louis area while we are there: 1. See William S. Burroughs's grave (I recently found that he was buried at Bellefontaine Cemetery in north St. Louis) 2. Six Flags 3. Celebrate Jill and I's anniversary (July 24) 4. Celebrate The James's birthday (July 24) 5. Celebrate my Mother's birthday (July 24) 6. Slinger Though not necessarily in that order. Current Mood: good (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 19th, 2008
12:40 am	Place to stay? EDIT I HAD THE DATES WRONG BEFORE Hello Chicago Friends Jill and I are coming to Chicago on Friday, June 27 and plan on leaving Sunday June 29. I have to attend traffic school all day on that Saturday on the north side. If you get two tickets in one year you have to spend eight hours learning to be a better driver in order to get court supervision. So, who is in town and willing to put me and Jill on a couch? Thanks Chris (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 4th, 2008
11:28 pm	Boring Scotch Update Jill and I saw a visually stunning film called "The Fall." The plot was not that exciting, but the sets were amazing. They filmed on five continents. If you want to see something really beautiful but only mildly engaging, this is your ticket. Though I was in a crappy and uncomfortable theatre. Perhaps one of these days I will give it another chance. Also, we ate at Blimpy Burger in Ann Arbor. It was featured on a show on the Food Network called "Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives." They served delicious cheeseburgers made of beef they fresh grind every day. The fries were only okay though. However, there was a variety of fried vegetable options that I may try one day. Their website is here: http://www.blimpyburger.com/ Also, tonight I had a "new" Scotch. I'd had it before a few years back and it was just as mediocre then. I really only had it because I'm trying to stay on track in order to make 27 by my birthday and it was the only single-malt Scotch they had. So, here it is, the 12yr Glenlivet. 1. Oban 2. Lagavulin 3. Caol Ila 4. Bowmore 5. Glenlivet Current Mood: good (Comment on this)
Friday, May 30th, 2008
4:09 pm	The Sin City of Canada Okay so I went to Canada for a Communication Conference. Obviously lots of stuff happened so I'm going to try to do the highlights in bulletpoints. -Canada has something called poutine which is french fries covered in brown gravy and cheese. I did not eat it as gravy does not belong on fries. -Toronto is a cool town with delightful cheese shops, record stores, book stores, and an art deco store with all kick ass art deco antiques that are way out of my price range. -Several young people approached me and asked if I wanted a hug. I said sure and ended up hugging a large blond girl. Her friend took a picture for what I assume are sinister purposes. -Toronto had a Charles Darwin exhibit in their Royal Ontario Museum (http://www.rom.on.ca/). The ROM is an old building with an exciting new building grafted onto it like a second penis added to someone's neck. I learned that Darwin utterly hated sea travel. -Montreal is considered Canada's Sin City. Given the number of strip clubs and porno shops I saw, I would have to agree. -Late one night after the bar and some food an old colleague and I went walking around Montreal looking for a strip club. We only found one that was still open at 3AM and after we went up the stairs we entered a hallway with many doors. We were not expecting this as most strip clubs have music playing, a bar, couches, a stage, etc. An older gentleman approached us told us that dances were $20 and "massages" were $80. He then offered to bring out the girls so that we could choose. We decided we were in over our heads and left. That business was called "Salon Ocotpussy." Others were called "Super Sex" and "Le Chateau du Sexe." -Montreal also has many, many record stores including a really great one specializing in 60's and 70's records called "Beatniks." -There were also many bookstores but they were of little use to me as they were mostly in French. -I saw a man proposing to a woman in front of a church. I think she said yes, but she didn't look thrilled about it. -I had some French Absinthe called "lie Arnaud Denoix" that was 69% alcohol. The charming lady bartender even set up a spoon and sugar and lit the thing on fire in the Czech tradition. -Also, there is a "new" Scotch for the list. I've decided not to count anything I have at home. I was at a bar and found the 12yr Bowmore which I've had before. It wasn't as peaty as I remembered it. Perhaps the bar watered it down. Still, I'm up to four. 1. Oban 2. Lagavulin 3. Caol Ila 4. Bowmore All in all, it was a good trip. I'd like to go back to Montreal again. Current Mood: good (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, May 19th, 2008
1:54 pm	A book, a movie. a wedding, and an award Lots of stuff has happened and will be happening in the next week. First, my brother Joe has recently become engaged to be married to his girlfriend Stacey Atwood. In the normal course of events, this is not surprising. They're both in their late 20's and they've been together for a couple of years or something. Yet, given that it is my brother, it is surprising. He was one of those guys people didn't think would "settle down." He's probably gotten more action in his life than anyone in my family since my late Grandfather Carpenter was stationed in the Philippines during WWII. Good for him. Maybe my remaining grandparents will get to be great-grandparents in their lifetimes. I'm certainly not in any rush. Finding an appropriate wedding present will be a challenge. I once obtained a statue of a young boy that dispenses liquor out of his exposed penis for John Craig. Maybe something in that vein for Joe. Also, I saw Prince Caspian. It was pretty kick-ass. They took some liberties with the middle of the book and Jesus-ed it up a bit though. Apparently it wasn't Jesusy enough in the original text despite that fact that it was written by one of the preeminent Christian Scholars of the 20th century. I suppose subtle Christian themes are not the forte of the kinds of people who go to movies because they are Jesusy. But in general, it was good. I'm already looking forward to the Voyage of the Dawn Treader. I read a delightful Anthony Burgess novel recently. It was called MF (alternately called M/F in some printings). It was an amusing study of the Oedipus myth and the act of resisting fate. Burgess must have hidden the word incest in about a dozen languages throughout the book. Luckily, he later wrote an essay explaining it that helped me get some of the references. It the sort of book that is both engaging and likely to be the subject of some Literature student's 500 page dissertation. In travel news, I'm going to be driving (with three of my colleagues) to Montreal on Wednesday for a Communication Confernce. We're staying in Toronto Wednesday night to catch a Bluejays game. I'll be in Montreal until Sunday night. It promises to be a rather boring conference. I've looked at the program and I plan on spending a fair amount of time away from the conference itself. Any thoughts on spending time in a Canadian city? If there is anything Canadian that you want, let me know and I'll bring it back, smuggled inside of my rectum if need be. Also, in bragging about me news, I received an email earlier today informing me that I was tied for Top Student Paper in the Communication and Cognition Division of the National Communication Association. This means that I'll get a neat little plaque and a check for something like $100. I'll be buying the drinks that night at that conference this November. I think I'm looking forward the the plaque more than the actual honor or the money. I like plaques. Current Mood: good (2 Comments |Comment on this)